straightboyfriend:

take me down to New York City where the yorks are new & the city is city

i-know-ive-got-loose-ends:

kvotheunkvothe:

I have a terrible joke, and I must share it.

So a frog goes in for a loan. He hops up to the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.”
Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot.”
Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.”
“That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs some kind of collateral.”
So the frog takes a ceramic pig out of its little bag and sets it on Patricia’s desk (he looks very smug at this point). He says, “I think this ought to take care of that.”
“Uh, let me check with my boss.” So Patricia takes the ceramic pig and goes back to her boss’s office and explains the situation. “And what the hell even is this?” she concludes, pointing to the ceramic pig.

Her boss says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

fuck me I’m dying